As a mompreneur I feel like balance should be a four letter word. Balance is something moms try to continuously look for to find from the day your baby is handed to you. I spent my days trying to give everything in my life the same amount of attention, being a good mom, a good wife, good at my job, oh yeah and kinda sorta taking care of myself aka balance. You know what happened? I sucked at it. When I started my business, life became even more out of balance. I now had two children, my son and my business. All day long I fought this urge to want spend time on my business baby and felt horrible. Then when my to do list became an incredibly long list mocking me, I would have a sitter watch my son so I could work, I felt horrible. No where in any of that was time for me. It felt like I was failing at everything.
Then I went to a coaching weekend to further my coaching education and oddly enough the topic was balance. Sometimes the big man upstairs has a sense of humor. It was a intense weekend, but I walked away with a clear perspective. Balance is all about what we make of it. Balance isn't 50/50. Balance is figuring out the areas of your life you find important at that moment and figuring out the amount of time your feel comfortable giving each. This includes taking care of yourself, don't forget about that. You will never feel truly balanced if you forget about yourself. To be the best mom and momprenuer you need to take care of yourself first.
I'm a visual person, I actually took a circle and made a pie chart of my life and talked to myself. Yep, I out loud talked to myself. First there were my buckets or major areas in life, being a mom, my business, my relationship, myself...wait I'm redoing that list in a better order. Myself, being a mom, my business, my relationship. Now that I had the major buckets I figured out how many hours I could reasonably spend on each. Maybe I should put sleep in there? I love me some sleep.
Then I figure out how much time that equaled. Here's my example:
I realize that your buckets and life might look different then mine, but we all have things out there vying for our attention.
It might not even be about splitting things out in hours for you, that is how my brain works. Truly, it's about making a conscience decision everyday to spend YOUR time how you need/want to. Then do it! Let go of the guilt, it doesn't serve you to hold onto it.
Take this day by day, eventually you won't have to think about it so much.
So... should balance be a four letter word? Hell no!
If balance is feeling unobtainable for you, shoot me an email at email@example.com. Let's figure it out together.
There are times that clients come to me when we first start working together and say that they are broken. I love that they feel safe enough with me to be open and vulnerable, but the truth is that you aren't broken. I know at times that might be hard to believe, but it's true. There can be big time bumps in the road for everyone where we put ourselves down, are hard on ourselves or it feels like life is hard on us. That doesn't mean we are broken, it could mean we need a little help to find our way out of whatever is going on. This could be a significant other, friend, coach or therapist.
There are also tools that you can look at to help yourself when you have a feeling that you are broken. First thing, let's change that mindset. Repeat to yourself..."I am not broken". Close your eyes and repeat it again, if this statement doesn't resonate with you, is there another one? Whatever it is repeat it 10 times. How are you feeling now?
Next, journal, why you are feeling the way you are feeling. Don't worry about this being novel worthy writing, just write. Whatever comes up put it on the paper, don't think about it. What feelings came up for you? What happened to your body as you journaled? How are you feeling right now after you wrote everything down?
Next I want you to stand up, do you feel your feet firmly routed in the ground? Close your eyes and repeat to yourself, 10 times, something positive like "I am an amazing person", "I am strong", "I kick butt". How are you feeling now?
Hopefully you are more relaxed, what are small steps that you can take to change whatever is in your life making you feel this sense of brokenness? These steps should help you to feel a sense of forward momentum. Now write the steps down in your journal. I want you make a promise to yourself to tackle one a day or a certain amount this week?
What is one special thing that you can do for yourself today or even better, right now!? I challenge you to not only do that thing, but find 5 ways to pamper or honor yourself over the next 7 days. You are worth it!
Since I announced the launch of Simply Essential many people have asked me why life coaching? Why did I choose it? Why hire me ? These are all really great questions.